WHEN the sweet-talking boyfriend turns aggressive, a girl is often thrown off balance, especially if she is young and in her first relationship.

Women’s Aid Organisation social worker Puveshini Rao says that it is important for the girl to remain calm when her boyfriend loses his temper.

“If your boyfriend is acting aggressively, it is clear that he’s angry. You cannot make him see reason when he’s in that state,” she says.

Her response to his aggression is crucial because it’ll determine how he behaves towards her in the future because it’s an indication of whether she will be easily cowed and bullied, or if she will stand up to him.

Once he has calmed down, the girl should set her boundaries, telling him which behaviour is acceptable and which is not, advises Puveshini.

“We can’t tell a woman not to give her partner a second chance, but if he doesn’t make an effort after the discussion, then it’s time to leave.”

She also said that if a girl is hit by her boyfriend, she should try to escape from the premise, calm down and make a police report.

“Just because you make a police report, it doesn’t mean that the police would immediately come and arrest your partner. They would ask if you want to take any further action. It is entirely up to you to make the decision,” she says.
Women who are violated, harassed or hit should make a police report nonetheless, if only for record purposes.

“You don’t have to take any immediate action against your abusive partner, but it would be good to have something in black and white for future reference,” Puveshini adds.

She says that the police report could be used to protect a woman, especially if the abuser gets aggressive after a break up.

Helplines:

Women’s Aid Organisation (WAO): 03-7956 3488
WAO Sexual Assault Helpline: 03-7960 3030
Women’s Centre For Change Penang: 04-228 0342
Telenita: 03-7877 0224