Close
Exit

BRANDON Wade started out as a nerd at the prestigious Massachusetts Institute of Technology and never got anywhere beyond his first kiss.

Spurred by his dating failures, he decided to take his mother’s advice and attract girls through his generosity – the monetary kind, of course.

In 2006, the former software engineer took that principle a step further and started SeekingArrangement.com, a dating website that caters specifically to helping sugar daddies and sugar babies meet up. Seeking Arrangement now boasts 3.6 million users and earns Wade a cool US$10 million (RM36 million) a year.

RELATED STORY: Inside the world of Malaysian sugar babies

But along the way, it inevitably courted controversy, with some likening the site’s main function to prostitution.

When Wade was featured on Dr. Phil, he was called an “MIT-educated pimp”, while The New York Times described the site itself as “a down-and-dirty marketplace where older moneyed men and cute young women engage in brutally frank transactions”.

R.AGE managed to talk to Wade about his site, the dynamics of sugar baby-sugar daddy relationships, and also asked straight up: “Is this whole arrangement prostitution?” Here’s what he had to say.

How did you become a sugar daddy?
I vividly remember the day my mother came home with a pair of diamond earrings, and my dad asked her who had bought it for her. She cried and said she bought it herself because he never bought her anything.

Growing up in Singapore, my mother would always tell me when I grow up, I should always spoil my girlfriend or wife or whomever I was dating. She taught me to be a sugar daddy at an early age, because for her, receiving a gift was her language of love. I have been a sugar daddy since then.

What’s it like being in a sugar arrangement?
I have always helped or spoiled my girlfriends and every girl I have ever dated. In addition to buying them gifts, taking them shopping, or paying for trips, I would also pay their rent or expenses. I also played a mentorship role helping many of my ex-girlfriends with their resumes and career advice.

RELATED STORY: Our reporter tried getting a sugar daddy online, and it was surprisingly easy

But what makes my experience as a sugar daddy even better today, is I have learned to discuss expectations up front with my sugar baby (now my wife), so that our relationship is just as much about giving as it is receiving.

What are your thoughts on teenage sugar babies?
The minimum age to use SeekingArrangement.com is 18. I believe that once you are 18 or over, you are an adult and as an adult you should be able to date whoever you want.

However, most teenage sugar babies may be less mature, and as such, I would encourage them not to venture into sugar dating until they understand the lifestyle and how to date safely.

College student sugar babies are becoming increasingly common. Why do you think that’s happening?
There are a few reasons. Firstly, most college students are single and actively dating.

Secondly, the cost of college education continues to increase. As it is, most students will graduate with a large amount of debt that will take years to pay off.

Finally, sugar dating is fast becoming a part of our popular culture (especially in America). When you turn on the television, there are plenty of programmes about housewives with rich husbands, or about dating millionaires.

Do you feel this lifestyle enforces a perception of women as sex objects? Does it push back the fight for gender equality in the workplace?
The cosmetic industry is doing so well primarily because most women want to become more sexually appealing. We are humans after all, and humans are sexual beings and there is nothing wrong with that.

I believe the sugar lifestyle empowers women to become comfortable with their sexuality and to use their good looks to their advantage.
Women may strive to be equal to men in the workplace, but that does not mean they do not also want to be spoiled by a man or to be treated like a lady.

I understand that you are against referring to sugar baby-sugar daddy arrangements as “prostitution”. But do you find it completely inaccurate, or do you get why people would call it that?
My mother told my sister to find herself a man who can take care of her, is educated, successful and wealthy.

What my mother was essentially telling my sister was for her to engage in sugar dating. Would you say my mother’s advice to my sister is for her to be a prostitute? Most certainly not.

Prostitution, the act of receiving money for sex, is not permitted on our website. And even though it is against our rules and terms of use, some people continue to misuse our website for that purpose.

This is the reason why at SeekingArrangement.com, we employ a team of administrator as well as software and policing to kick off over 200 users each day for violating our rules.

  • What goes around comes around

    One day, Wade will have a daughter (or daughters). She will be his pride and joy, the apple of his eye. She will grow up to be beautiful, sexy and attractive. Then one day she will enter the world of sugar dating, and from then on she will no longer be looked upon as a lady to be honored, protected and cherished. Instead, she will be just an object, desired by men with money, used by men, one after another, until she becomes tattered, and then she’ll be discarded just like an old used tissue paper. Hopefully she will have plenty of money by then, because that will be the only thing she’ll be left with – lots of money, but no honour, no dignity, feelings of self worth that are next to none, and loaded with insecurity and self-loathing. Karma bites.

  • Karma is BS…probably invented for poor suckers to sooth them a little. Just like religions…opium for the people.

    If he ever has a doughter she will have enough money of her own to buy her all the boys she likes…

BTW…

I lost my mother to the Japanese war

 Whenever Allied planes bombed Sandakan town as part of its campaign to liberate Borneo, Daniel Chin Tung Foh’s grandfather would rush the whole family into a bomb shelter behind their house.  During its heyday, the British North Borneo Company had developed Sandakan into a major commercial and trading hub for timber, as well as […]

Read more Like this post0

A witness to the Double Tenth revolt

 Chua Hock Yong was born in Singapore, but his grandfather moved the family to British North Borneo (now Sabah) to establish their business in 1939 when he was a year old.  The Japanese invaded Borneo shortly after, but the family continued living in their shophouse in Gaya Street, Jesselton, now known as Kota Kinabalu.  […]

Read more Like this post1

An encounter with victims of the Sandakan Death Marches

 When the Second World War came to Borneo, Pelabiu Akai’s mother moved the family back to their village in Nalapak, Ranau.  Although the Japanese were known to be ruthless and brutal conquerors, they left the villagers to their own devices and Pelabiu had a largely uneventful life – until she came across gaunt-looking Allied […]

Read more Like this post3

Sarawak’s only living child prisoner of war

 Jeli Abdullah’s mother died from labour complications after giving birth to him and his twin brother. To his Bisaya tribe, this was seen as a bad omen, and his father did not know what to do with the twins.  Fortunately, an Australian missionary couple decided to adopt the newborns. But misfortunate fell upon the […]

Read more Like this post2

Lest we forget

AFIO Rudi, 21, had never thought much about his grandfather Jeli Abdullah’s life story until an Australian TV programme interviewed the 79-year-old about being Sarawak’s last surviving World War II child prisoner of war (POW). The engineering student then realised that despite living in Sarawak all his life, he also didn’t know very much of […]

Read more Like this post3

A native uprising against Japanese forces

 Basar Paru, 95, was only a teenager when his village in the central highlands of Borneo was invaded by the Japanese Imperial army.  “The Japanese told us not to help the British. They said Asians should help each other because we have the same skin, same hair,” Basar recalled. “But we, the Lun Bawang […]

Read more Like this post0

Left behind in wartime chaos

 Kadazan native Anthony Labangka was 10 years old when the Japanese Imperial Army invaded Borneo during World War II.  Sitting in the verandah of a modern kampung house on a hot afternoon in Kampung Penampang Proper, where he has lived his whole life, Anthony recalls the hardships of the Japanese Occupation.  The villagers were […]

Read more Like this post0
Kajai R.AGE Wan Ifra Journalism Documentaries Digital Media Awards

R.AGE Audience Survey 2019 + Office Tour contest

Want to be in the running to meet R.AGE producers and journalists? Take part in our R.AGE Audience Survey 2019 by Feb 17, 2019!

Read more Like this post1

BRATs Goes to Genting!

The final BRATs camp of the year promises to be the coolest – literally!

Read more Like this post0

The Hidden Cut

Female circumcision is a very common practice in Malaysia, but the procedure is still almost completely unregulated.

Read more Like this post1

#TeamSatpal: Turtle-y in Trouble

The 21st century brings unseen threats to local turtle conservation efforts.

Read more Like this post0

#TeamMayLee: The Point of Being Malaysian

In a modest village situated on the sandy shores of Terengganu, the production of ikan bilis has formed the livelihoods of most families for multiple generations.

Read more Like this post1
Go top